Notes from thoughts, memories, and events

Tag: Diaries (Page 2 of 7)

Sweetness and Bitterness

It’s August 21. There are 31 days left until autumn, and we’ve endured a few months of unprecedented summer heat, probably due to the drying up of Lake Urmia. Generally, Tabriz has a cool September and its nights have a certain good feeling that I’ve never been able to name. We have 31 days to make the most of these September nights and experience that good feeling. After that, there will be three months of autumn with café sitting, smoking, coffee, and songs by people like Ahmet Kaya. Hard days lie ahead.

Sometimes I wonder why people are always seeking good feelings. Assuming we know the meaning of good and bad, why should we label a feeling as good or bad? It’s like saying life is sweet when one of the best tastes in the world is the bitter taste of coffee. Why does saying life is bitter convey a bad feeling?

People generally, when with someone, have a limited number of songs they can listen to and a negligible number of books or other content that aligns with their feelings. However, when they are alone or have separated from someone, almost all songs, books, streets, sidewalks, parks, and everything and everywhere are available to them.

I don’t know, maybe I’m just trying to console myself.

From the Pain I Endure

This year started off well but has continued with great difficulty. Heavy experiences that I paid a high price for. At least life kept flowing; I didn’t drag 1393 (2014) into 1394 (2015) to continue it. I didn’t want it to turn out this way, but sometimes there’s nothing you can do except adapt to the conditions and events. In these moments, when those who seem very stubborn share their true feelings with me, I feel that maybe I haven’t strayed too far from the right path. It’s really sad that misfortune has become normal. Not laughing, depression, problems, running around—it all feels too normal. The situation is such that some songs you’ve had for years but never listened to become the only tolerable ones.

For the love of our Flask

Aside from the two ducks I had in my childhood, we never had a pet. Later, we had a flask that would start making a gurgling noise whenever silence prevailed. It played the role of a pet for us and contributed to strengthening the foundation of our family.

Yesterday, after many years, it fell and broke. We threw it away. In its honor, I’ll refrain from drinking tea for a day.

Literature Belongs to the Losers

All the songs, books, poems, sidewalks, and streets. Everything that exists belongs to those who left a part of their hearts somewhere. Winning and succeeding can be somewhat exhausting. In other words, the ideal conditions of life are so fleeting that related songs are limited to a stupid song from stupid person.

Nowruz 2014 And my new backpack

Like last year and following the public invitation from Amir Mehrani, this year I’m writing the Backpack Post.

The world has always had and will always have its ugliness, but we don’t need to dwell on that ugliness during the few days we can choose to be happy. Reflecting on every good thing that happened in 1393 (2014), let’s smile at all those happy moments and welcome 1394 (2015). As for my backpack, once again, a large part of it is filled with experiences from social interactions. It seems I’m gradually becoming an extrovert, though introversion still holds its place. This year, I realized that, contrary to slogans and show-offs, accomplishing great things requires a solid, well-thought-out foundation and planning. This principle can be applied to any person and any task.

The Chronicles of Disillusionment

Scene 1
High school ends, and now you’re faced with countless paths you could choose to follow for the rest of your life. Driven by your passion and the belief that this path might lead to your dreams, you choose a field related to computer science.

Scene 2
It’s your first day at university. You replay the scenes you’ve seen in movies in your mind, thinking you’re now part of an educated elite who understands a bit more than the average person. But as you observe those around you and the various professors, you realize how misguided that notion was.

Scene 3
You struggle through university and finally finish. Now it’s time to use what you’ve learned and enter the job market. You remain hopeful, having invested so much time learning things that even university professors barely understand, let alone those outside the academic world.

Scene 4
You find a way to introduce yourself to the market, land your first client, and secure a contract. The project is supposed to be completed in two weeks, and the payment you receive would typically last you six months.

You’re excited and start working on the project. The delivery day arrives, and the client says the work is great but needs a few minor changes. After these adjustments, they promise to release the payment.

Scene 5
Six months pass, and you finally finish the supposed changes, whether real or imagined. The client promises to settle soon. Three more months go by.

Scene 6
The energy you had stored up over years, along with the contents of your wallet, runs out during this period. Failure? Not quite; you have to survive. You navigate through thousands of competitors and get your next project, this time promising to be completed in a month.

Scene 7
As you approach the end of the project, the client calls and says their niece has created a “Blogfa website” for them, so they no longer need your services. No need to continue.

Scene 8
Here, it’s impossible. It’s the third world, after all. You decide to work with overseas clients, where projects worth thousands of dollars are being done for twenty dollars by people from India and Pakistan. It seems the mess of the third world has spilled over to the first world.

You find an intermediary to get projects for you. It appears you’ve found your way. Things go well, you complete the work, and you’re ready to receive your earnings. But your country and its banks are sanctioned. You turn to intermediaries again, who take a significant cut of your money. So, you decide to ask your intermediary to hold your funds and send them all at once.

Scene 9
Six months pass. Now you want to get your money, with elaborate plans in mind. You contact your intermediary. They refuse to give you your money. Pour the water where it burns the most.

Scene 10
Struggling to breathe, you decide to abandon freelancing and stay employed in a company until things stabilize. You accept one of the job offers. What’s your role? Supporting a system that was developed in the U.S., localized in Shiraz, optimized in Isfahan, malfunctioned in Tehran, and sold in Tabriz.

You see your dreams crumbling.

Scene 11
You resign, abandoning both employment and freelancing. The new path is to start a startup. You begin working with a team. Time passes, the work concludes. Now it’s time to find an investor. Sit tight until one appears.

Scene 12
Snow falls as you sit by the window. An old Russian opera plays on the gramophone.

For a Friend Who Will Always Stay with Us

Dear R—–, the news of your passing left us all in shock and disbelief. It’s hard to accept. You left too soon, far too soon. I remember when I posted our group photo on Facebook, you told me to take it down because every time you looked at it, it brought back memories that made you cry. You didn’t know then that now, whenever we look at that photo, we’ll be reminded of your absence and the pain it brings. Your memory will forever remain in the hearts of the Class of 2010.

Rest in peace, my old friend.

Working from Home vs. Working at the Office

Someone once said that the reason Steve Jobs didn’t hire me was that my house doesn’t have a garage. He didn’t say it explicitly, but it was somewhat implied. The productivity that exists in a dedicated workspace is not even one percent present at home. At least not for me. And bad habits resulting from that. For example, being able to work in a place where there isn’t a bed or a couch to lie down on when my brain needs a break.

My blood donation story

Following two issues, I decided to donate blood. One was that several people suggested that I undergo cupping therapy for my allergy treatment (which I don’t believe in, so I decided to donate blood, which is almost the same mechanism). The second reason is that life has been tough lately and I want to help those who need it while making myself feel better.

First attempt, December 10, 2014: I planned to go with my friend Vahid. He has been doing this for a long time and it was time for his next donation. This reduced some of my stress. However, after we arrived late, they told us that humanity currently does not deserve to use my blood. They asked us to come back on Sunday when they are open. So, it didn’t happen.

Second attempt, December 14, 2014: Finally, it happened, but not without a story. After Vahid finished his donation, I followed suit, but for a moment, I didn’t realize what was happening and fainted on the bed. Since I was almost unconscious at that moment, Vahid explained what happened:

“Araz said his head was dizzy. I said it was probably just a normal headache. I called the guy to take him to the bed. They took him to the bed and splashed water on his face and told him to cough. Suddenly, he said he couldn’t hear anything. My heart stopped. We splashed water on his face and shook him a few more times until he came back to his senses.”
– Vahid (@vahidrsj)

If you want, you can donate blood too. They are open from 10 am to 6 pm. The blood donation center is located across from the Kaboud Mosque.

Jobs in here and there

I have been involved with international job search websites for a while and I have noticed an interesting issue that I think is better to be said than left unsaid. In most foreign job offers, after announcing the desired field, they state why it is better to choose them and send them their resume. Unlike domestic offers, they do not say that you should have certain conditions to be the best candidate. Their assumption is that the right to choose is with the job seeker, not the company looking for employees.

In addition to that, there is a strong bias towards specialization. The job field is “jQuery expert.” Please note that it is not a JS expert, just jQuery. This means that your job is just and only to use jQuery. In comparison, a front-end developer’s skill set required by the company includes more than 20 different skills. This is not an exaggeration.

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