Over the years, I had many passions and regrets, I said important things about many things, I laughed with many and got mad with many, and some days life was really tough on me. But I learned many lessons and all of these made me grow and give more importance to real things.
My online presence is limited to the services I use for work (like Github and Stackoverflow) and that’s why I created this blog site to write, consistently and seriously. We write to remember, because “writing is the tracing of our footsteps.” When we return and read our writing, we’ll remember where we came from and how far we’ve traveled.
This is a Siteblog. A combination of a website and a blog. A place where, in the first section, my writings and notes are published and archived, and in the second section, it is a place to show my work projects and activities.
There is no pattern in the writings. In other words, each writing is a result of my thoughts and musings and may be very boring and lengthy or very captivating or very short. It could be a photo or a comment on a photo. It could be a question from an unknown audience. Some of the writings may have a tone that’s inappropriate for a certain group. Some of the writings may have ambiguities that cannot be made clearer and that ambiguity is the nature of the writing itself. It could be a description of a dream or an imagination of an event that never happened. A personal memory or prediction of the future.
My thoughts and writings are just my mental models of existence. They’re neither right nor wrong. The ideas expressed on this blog are not necessarily true, false, or tested by myself or anyone else.
I don’t know the exact meanings of correct, wrong, success, life, and many other seemingly facts. If I use these words in my text, it’s with the general meaning unless I specify otherwise.
Considering no two people have the same mental models, I welcome opposing or like-minded views with my writings.
I’m not a normal person, apparently or otherwise. And I don’t know what it means to be normal. Similarly, I don’t know what it means to be abnormal.
Freedom is the first letter of my life’s alphabet. As long as I have the choice and opportunity, I publish and share anything written here without any licensing or protection, though I reserve the right to claim authorship.
What Makes Me Happy:
Walking, nights, winter and fresh air, coffee, discovering new music or bands, snow, sitting by the fireplace, seeing happy people, making my mother laugh, laughing with others, freeing a prisoner, discharging a soldier. The sound of a guitar in a cassette. Old gramophone discs and cassettes. “Sema”. Respect, Gentility. Discovering a new angle to look at.
What Bothers Me:
Politics, too much or too little money, power. Three-headed Ajabshir, Bonab, Maragheh and anything related to the military. Smoking. Any addiction.
What I Don’t Have an Answer For:
How the world started. How the world will end. The meaning of life. Why we are here, what we should do (for this I have one pen of suggestions), the definition of success. How much is the cost of making semi-Digikala?
I live for
Experiencing everything. Peace, calm, humanity, kissing a girl I don’t have. Singularity.
I can handle:
The sound of a crying baby, someone I love getting sick, getting sick myself, someone failing, someone talking behind my back, disorganization, irrational arguments, anyone rejecting logical words until the end, anything related to hormonal changes.
I can’t handle:
Lies, deceit, feeling worthless, arrogance, self-importance, self-victimization, feeling overwhelmed, and feeling different. Feeling superior. The word “superior”. Looking down on someone, disrespect, prejudice, disrespect, destruction, teasing, delay without a satisfying reason, excuses, taking advantage, any effort to prove oneself. Any definition of oneself for anything other than self-defense. Showing off being right. Covering the floor with clothes and trousers for the boys. Three-centimeters muds.
Things that entertain me:
reading nostalgic blogs, hearing people’s life stories, watching handcrafted gifs and videos, imagining the emotions of those who made or watched them. Anything related to the late 70s and early 80s. Anything that could be the future.
Things that scare me:
humanity reaching a point where there’s no turning back.
Things that fascinate me:
formerly foolish and cruel actions of humans but now it makes my heart tighten with wonder.
Things that make me laugh:
the simplicity of children’s lives.
Things that make me cry:
Tabriz airport. Prostration of Rumi in looking for Shams-i Tabrizi. Trying to fix something that can’t be fixed. The absence of someone who should be there. Migration. Not being able to be in front of the family during Nowruz, Chaharshanbeh-Soori, and other ancient celebrations. Love, anyone reaching the end of the line. Hopelessness. The song “Şafak Türküsü” by Ahmet Kaya.